beauty’s antiquity. take two.

sitting on ligne 10, I waited for my descent at eglise d’auteuil, when on came a woman. probably in her late eighties, whose back had been arched with age. she chose a seat in front of me, with her back
turned. all that was visible was her forest
green cardigan and thining hair. part of me ignored
her, like the rest of society
who leaves her to enjoy
her cloister that is a mini park and assisted housing. who label her as ‘uninteresting’ and ‘unentertaining’ because of her aloffness of modern-day l’argot and parisian youthful beauty. but the other part of me desires to talk to her. to ‘hear her stories’, to laugh at her horrible
jokes whose humor has aged like that of french cheese. except, contrary to the cliché,
it does not become better with time.
there are many women in paris who live alone. i guess, fulfilling a bit of my favorite image of the old, single-woman living in
a studio with nothing to comfort her but a bottle of old wine and several felines. i always laugh at that
because it’s really funny.
but once my sensitivities are brought back into reality and when i find myself meeting these women and living with them, i do
just the opposite.
it’s not that these women don’t continue being vibrant, amazing, wise, strong women…i’m not trying to pilot some pity campaign for them, but there is still due reason for identifying the existing disappointment and inevitable longing from being left by a husband. at first,
i became so angry with french men and vowed i would NEVER consider marrying one,
as my friends back home would always joke i’d do.
but, even though many French men do fulfill such stereotypes, and i will continue in my adamant refrain,
it isn’t just because of their ‘frenchness’.
it is more so because they are HUman.
and it is the adherence to such ‘humanistic’ thought (by individuals and the result of the moral evolution of this society), that is the downfall to ‘adam’ (and his eve).
and in turn, human
relationship. but i believe in love.
just not that of a flippant human kind.
i believe in the love that serves without condition.
the love that sacrifices
even when it ‘can’t’. and the love that endures even when the physical beauty fades. the agape. love